It’s called FONBÉ…

or the Fear Of Not Being Enough.

photo source

These are just some thoughts on… fear.

It finds its way into all of us and it manifests itself in different ways.

The real me and the real you can be hidden by a thick layer fear. We fear all kinds of things, but one of the most powerful and persistent brands of fear is the Fear Of Not Being Enough.

What if I’m not enough?

What if I never reach my potential? What if I fail? What if I don’t have what it takes? What if I never reach that level of success? What if that person never sees what I can do? What if I never catch my break? What if I never amount to anything? What if my life comes to an end before I figured out how to start it?

For some people, fear makes them freeze.

For others, it makes them fight.

In both cases, fear distracts us from life.

If we freeze, our lack of action leads to a self fulfilled prophecy: we didn’t think we were enough and our lack of action proves it.

If we fight, our action (really it’s a reaction to fear) can fool others into thinking we’re ‘enough’, but our action was just to compensate for the fear and it will eventually reveal itself.

In both cases we’re standing on the outside of life, frozen in reaction to fear or fighting with it.

If we’re living in reaction to the Fear Of Not Being Enough we won’t experience an abundant life.

The Fear Of Not Being Enough is just that, a fear. It makes sense when it’s standing upon the broken foundation of our lives, but it’s eternally a distraction.

We find examples to support it, we catalogue them, and we file them for safe keeping and future reference.

But the truth is… we’re not enough.

Not the enough in FONBÉ.

This enough is about the need to find out who we are and what we’re worth.

We will never find this kind of enough by freezing, fighting, or any other reaction.

This realization is painful because it will mean facing the things that we have failed to do because of FONBÉ and it will mean facing all of the things that we have done just to compensate for FONBÉ.

A sense of love, acceptance, and what I call, ‘arrival’, is the only thing that will completely disintegrate the power and persistence of FONBÉ.

The kind of love that can do this is what life is made out of. It’s puts things back in order, repairs foundations, and makes fear just not make as much sense anymore. A real experience of love causes us to simply stop thinking about whether we’re enough or not. It just begins to leave the radar — sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, sometimes in stages.

I write more about this kind of love here.

This love is the love of God and and it is found at intersection of a road called surrender and a road called Jesus is who he said he was.

So, what can you do about FONBÉ?

The answer is pretty straightforward but the journey might not be.

First, in the face of FONBÉ, don’t freeze or fight. Face how you’ve lived in reaction to it and surrender your need to be enough. Then find the place where surrender intersects with the other road. There you’ll see a river. Step into it. This river is the love of God — always moving, never stopping. Don’t leave the river and the water will disintegrate what’s left of FONBÉ.


Hi, I’m Michael and this is my daily project where I write about diverse ideas.

This is Dose #106.

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